Archive for the ‘Comedians’ Category

Stick to your time on stage

August 1, 2017

Hey Dave – Without revealing my secret identity, I heard you talking not too long ago and know you were pretty upset with a comedian who went over his time and was on stage too long. It’s probably safe to say he overstayed his welcome. Care to elaborate? – G.

Hey G – What are you a secret agent with a secret identity listening to my not-so-private conversations? Oh well, I guess it could be worse. Instead of a sleazy private eye snooping on me, you could be a self-centered comedian (or speaker) who goes over his allotted time on stage.

Want to kill a potentially great relationship with a comedy club or make sure you’re never invited back for a return gig at a college or corporate event?

Go ahead – ignore it!

When you’re given the light (the signal) to end your set and leave the stage – ignore it. Go ahead and do another 5, 10, 15 minutes, half an hour… an hour… Everyone will surely love and worship your amazing and boundless talent that you’re compelled to share so unselfishly for however long your ego needs to be stroked on stage.

And in case you don’t recognize sarcasm in the written word, insert a capitalized “NOT!” after that last sentence. In a creative profession that thrives on having no rules (being original and unique is a big plus) going over your time on stage breaks a big business rule – and is a big minus.

As always there are exceptions that depend on your status within the industry and everyone starting out in the business needs to realize that. There are special events where more time on stage is a benefit. For instance, fundraising efforts that are planned in advance to set records for time on stage. I remember reading about a comedian who did forty hours of stand-up years ago and raised at TON of money for a hospital. That’s truly awesome, but not what we’re talking about today.

Another exception is having your own hit television show or enough name recognition to sell out theaters and arenas. That’s like being the favorite child or grandchild. You get special privileges.

When you’re a major star and selling out arenas, theaters or (sometimes) a club and charging big $$’s for tickets, fans expect a “concert” experience and more than just a half hour or hour show by the headliner. It’s like seeing Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, or U2 perform three hour concerts. Their fans are into it, paid money to see that particular artist, and these acts have the material to entertain for that length of time. But until you’re working within that stratosphere of popularity, stick to your time on stage.

Reasons why? As always, I’m glad you asked…

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Comedy Workshop at The Cleveland Improv

Showcase performance on Wednesday, August 16th at 7:30 pm

Workshop Marquee 150

Fall 2017 Chicago and Cleveland workshop dates TBA

For information, reviews, photos and advance registration visit…

TheComedyBook.com

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It’s a business, which is a fact I emphasize in many of these FAQ’s and Answers. Some club owners are in the entertainment biz because they enjoy it and like to nurture and promote new talent. Others are only in it to make money. But the bottom line for both is if they don’t make money (and yes, this includes the nurturing types) they go out of business. When a club goes out of business, comedians have one less place to work.

Clubs earn money selling tickets, selling food and drinks, and keeping expenses (rent, utilities, inventory, payroll, etc…) under control. The comedian you reminded me of in this week’s question – and I won’t mention his name – actually told club management (me at that time!) after the show that he was doing the club a favor by going more than an HOUR over his scheduled time on stage. He pretty much wanted a “thank you” for giving the serving, kitchen and bar staff more time to sell food and drinks.

That consideration for the club deserves a bigger laugh than any he received on stage. After all, Dumb and Dumber was a popular movie and now in my opinion this comic is the live version. Good thinking! (Again – this is written sarcasm so please add a big “NOT!”).

You know why? Because the business doesn’t work that way…

Shows at this particular club (a world famous comedy club, I might add) are timed. Staff arrives at a certain time, the doors open at a certain time, the show starts at a certain time and the comedians – opening act, feature act and headlining act – are given set times. The headliners, of course, are the privileged members of the family, but most know how the business works.

It’s a profit deal!

As Steve Martin said in The Jerk:

I get it… It’s a profit deal!

The behind the scenes business – kitchen crew, servers, food-runners, bars, box office, security, management – revolve around the show schedule. For instance, the box office closes when the headliner goes on so customers won’t complain about getting ripped-off by buying a ticket after the show has started. So that profit opportunity is ended when the headliner walks on stage.

Are you following me so far? Good, because I’m not done yet…

A sad fact about the nightclub biz is that some people like to skip out on their checks. In other words, if they can sneak out without paying they’re getting a free night out. The truth in most cases is that the servers – the waiters and waitresses – are stuck with these checks and have to pay for these uncollected profits out of their own pockets. They foot the bill and end up paying for these jerks (and I’m not referring again to a Steve Martin movie) to have a fun night out.

Not fair – is it?

This is why comedy clubs have “check spots.” Experienced comedians know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s when the checks are put on the tables to be paid by the customers. The show doesn’t (or shouldn’t) end until all the checks are paid – by the customers. That makes it difficult for deadbeat customers to blend in and sneak out with customers who have already paid. It’s a sad truth about the nightclub business.

So based on the time allotted for the show, last call is given when there is still enough time during the headlining comedian’s set to give customers their checks and collect the money. No more drinks or food are served after last call because the checks are closed. When the show ends and the final comedian has walked off the stage, customers can head to the bar or another club if they want to continue drinking and eating.

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This means the final two profit opportunities for the club has ended – food and drinks.

But what about keeping expenses under control? When the staff has finished serving and collecting checks, they have to hang around and wait for the show to end and the customers to leave. They’ve also lost any opportunity to make additional tips because the checks are “closed” and they can’t start new ones for thirsty customers because no one knows for sure when the show will end.

In the case of the comedian referred to above, that meant the staff sat around for over an hour – on the clock and getting paid by the club owner – before they could prepare the room for the next show or  finish their shifts, shut down the club and leave.

Doesn’t make great business sense for a good business plan – does it?

I’m sure you can imagine the chaos this can cause for clubs that have two or three shows on a weekend night. If the first show runs even 10 or 15 minutes late because a comic goes over his time, the audiences coming in for the later shows don’t know this. They’re on time and lined-up to enter the showroom, while the earlier audience is still inside. When that audience is leaving the new audience is trying to get in and…

Well, I’ll refer to another Steve Martin quote that also works from the management point of view:

Comedy isn’t pretty.

Closed doors

I don’t need to tell you what the management and staff are saying behind the back of the comedian that went past his time and stayed on stage too long. I’ll just let you know it isn’t pretty.

The same holds true for corporate and college performers. These business people and students are usually on a schedule. It could be a training seminar, class, lunch, dinner, cocktail hour / social time – whatever. The contracts I’ve seen for these types of gigs are very strict in their performance times. Go short (leave the stage before completing the time you’re contracted for) and the clients won’t want to pay you. Go long and they won’t even think of booking you for a return engagement since you’ve disrupted the event schedule.

Of course there are other reasons why you must stick to your time on stage. The No. 1 reason for beginning comics and speakers is to prove to talent bookers and club management you understand how important this is and won’t cause a potential nightmare in the future. But in an effort not to take longer than expected when you started reading, I’ll stick to my time and sign off. I think you get the idea.

Have a comment? Please use the form below.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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Dave Schwensen is the author of How To Be A Working Comic: An Insider’s Business Guide To A Career In Stand-Up ComedyComedy FAQs And Answers: How The Stand-Up Biz Really Works, and Comedy Workshop: Creating & Writing Comedy Material for Comedians & Humorous Speakers.

For details about upcoming comedy workshops at the Cleveland and Chicago Improv Comedy Clubsprivate coaching by Skype or phone, and to receive our bi-weekly newsletter visit www.TheComedyBook.com

Copyright 2017 – North Shore Publishing.

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Don’t reveal too much in your promo material

July 17, 2017

Hey Dave – I took your workshop about a year ago. When you did the session about business you talked about not putting your home address on your promotional material. Another comic told me I should put my address on my website, promo material and DVD’s if I’m serious about doing this. He said to give bookers every way possible to find me to hire me. What do you think?- E.H.

Hey E.H. – I think you need to hang out with different comics. Of course it’s good business sense to give talent bookers the best and easiest ways to contact you, but let’s not get too personal. When you’re promoting your business – which is you when you’re a comedian or humorous speaker – you have to network and let buyers (in our case meaning the people hiring you) know how to find you.

Never know who’s paying attention…

But it’s also important to realize it’s pretty much impossible to pick and choose who will end up viewing your promo material.

Everything you post online or even post through the Postal Service (sometimes I embarrass myself with this word play) is fair game for just about anyone to see. So not only will talent bookers have a way to find you – so will everyone else.

As usual, I have a story about this. And I’ll share it with you – in a moment…

First of all, business methods have changed a LOT over the past few years for both comedians and humorous speakers. It wasn’t that long ago during my comedy workshops that I’d bring in a stack of promotional packages developed by big-name public relations firms for big-name comedians such as Ray Romano, George Carlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Dave Chappelle and others. These were great examples of how professional promotional packages should look, but you really don’t see these much anymore because just about everything today is done online.

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Comedy Workshop at The Cleveland Improv

Starting Saturday July 22, 2017 – SOLD OUT!

Workshop Marquee 150

Workshop performance at The Improv

Wednesday – August 16 at 7:30 pm

Fall 2017 Chicago and Cleveland dates TBA

For information, reviews, photos and advance registration visit…

TheComedyBook.com

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In the “old days” these were hard copies (paper and photos) displayed in designer folders or even plain two-pocket versions (like you “old timers” probably used in school) that agents, managers and talent bookers could actually hold in their hands or spread out on their desks to read. Just the memory of sorting through stacks of folders and photos is making me feel ancient…

BUT now with this information online, I haven’t received a hard copy promo package in… well, since everyone realized it was cheaper, faster and easier to have all this information on a website or attached to an email. It’s all online, easy to view, and the modern way of doing business.

BUT just like in the old days, you never know who will find this information. If you include a home address or home phone number, any wacko can find you. That’s why I suggest never sharing too much personal information on your promotional material.

Don’t worry, I’m getting to the story…

Posting a letter

BUT first, think about this. The only time someone in this business really needs your address is when they’re sending you a contract or payment. Yes, the more convenient way is to also do this online – but many of us are still working with event planners and talent bookers who keep the Postal Service in business with snail mail. If they want to know where you’re located to see if a specific booking is do-able for both of you – give them the nearest city. Could be New York, Cleveland, Chicago, Los Angeles, etc… That’s all they need to know. When they’re sending contracts or a check, then give them an address.

BUT since you’re a business (correct?) I suggest having a business address. And if you need to, think about this. If you work with an agent, they have your contracts and payments sent to their business and not their home address. You need to think the same way. And unless you have a separate business office, use a Post Office Box instead of your home address.

I know with cell phones it’s always convenient to give out that number for important contacts and potential bookings. That’s why answering services for performers are going out of business because no one is far from their phone anymore. But think twice before you share that number online. Unless its a phone dedicated strictly for business, anyone can find your personal number online and make a call. And I’m not just talking about past annoying ex-friends, employers or relationships, but also the wacko looking online for someone to talk to – and annoy.

Besides, it’s much easier for someone to contact you (for bookings and not always annoyances) by clicking an email link through your website. Websites and other online marketing tools should all include your email. And since it’s easy to have separate business and personal email addresses, keep your business and personal emails separate.

For instance, mine is dave@thecomedybook.com. I can tell you that because it’s for business. You don’t really think my family uses that address to contact me – do you? They have my personal email address – and you don’t.

And now to wrap this all up, here’s the story I promised. It will give you a good reason why this all makes good business sense. And as some comedians and humorous speakers like to say, this is a true story…

I received a call from the owner of a well known comedy club who suggested I look at a young, up-and-coming female comedian who needed a manager. I met with her, watched her set at the club that night and knew she was really talented and had potential to make it big.

In the years since, that prediction came true. You would know her as a national headliner and from television and movies if I mentioned her name. But even if she said it was okay, I wouldn’t. She went through enough grief from being too personal on her promo material during the early stages of her career and I don’t want to focus attention on her again in that light.

As I said, you never know what wackos are reading…

Anyway, she wanted to make sure every booker in North America could easily find her, so her home address and home (pre-cell) phone number were plastered all over her (hard copy) promotional material. It worked and she was booked for a week at a great comedy club only a few hours drive from where she lived. It was a big career break and she was psyched. But she was about to learn how much she really didn’t know about this crazy business.

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Oh, and I need to mention one other thing. She is very attractive and her promotional pictures (head shots) proved that. The club had her photo on display with the headliner’s outside the club – and you don’t usually see that happen for an opening act.

When she finished her week’s booking on Sunday night, the club owner took her into the office and paid her. Then he threw her promo material in the garbage can. When she asked why he said it had nothing to do with her performances. She was funny and he planned to bring her back. But he also knew it’s important for performers to keep their promo updated and next time she was booked she should send him a new resume, bio and head shot. Most bookers did this because they just didn’t have the file, desk or floor space to keep everything they received.

A few days later the comedian received a call from another “booker” who said he had her promo material. You know where I’m going with this… right?

Turns out it wasn’t really a booker, but a wacko comedian who had been hanging around the club. He had seen her photo on display and then in the garbage – with her home phone and address on it – and taken it. After a few more calls it started to get weird and then scary when he became a full-blown stalker.

Hello it’s me!

Our female comedian was learning a tough lesson the hard way and not only had to destroy all her promotional material (back in the days when copying head shots was expensive), but had to order everything printed again with a separate business phone and email as the only contact information.

Today it would mean changing the contact info on all your websites and online marketing which doesn’t always work the way you think it will. Web pages seem to have an everlasting life. I can Google and find pages about myself and my business that were posted years ago and extremely outdated. In fact I just did and found a newspaper review I wrote about a Paul McCartney concert back in 2003. I don’t even remember writing it – and it was like reading for the first time. Since I don’t write for that newspaper anymore, the contact email no longer works. But if they’d had used my home address with the article…

Now back to the story, because we’re not done yet…

The worst part was that she actually had to move. Imagine how you’d feel when someone wacko and scary can honestly say, “I know where you live.” If it’s not said on a Hollywood movie set, it’s no way to live every single day. She found a new apartment and had some BIG guys not only help her move, but also make sure a certain wacko wasn’t hanging around when they did it.

The lesson is an old one. You have a business, so treat it that way. Keep your personal life and contact information out of it. You never know who’s going to find it.

Have a comment? Please use the form below.

Thanks for reading and as always – keep laughing!

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Dave Schwensen is the author of How To Be A Working Comic: An Insider’s Business Guide To A Career In Stand-Up ComedyComedy FAQs And Answers: How The Stand-Up Biz Really Works, and Comedy Workshop: Creating & Writing Comedy Material for Comedians & Humorous Speakers.

For details about upcoming comedy workshops at the Cleveland and Chicago Improv Comedy Clubsprivate coaching by Skype or phone, and to receive our bi-weekly newsletter visit www.TheComedyBook.com

Copyright 2017 – North Shore Publishing.